Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Singaporean Personal Path of Self-Discovery is Elliptical

Step 1:

Start by not liking yourself. Extra points if you don't belong to the majority. Or if you're already minority, start by hating your own kind.

Step 2:

Pick on the details. Extra points if you don't fit in to an ideal.

Step 3:

Wish that you were someone else. Extra points if you engage in or indulge in highly opinionated, non-physical world activities such as gaming, singapore indie culture, celebrity blogging etc.

Step 4:

Go away to another country where you're literally the minority. Extra points if you go there for training or course of study.

Step 5:

Come back with an accent. (depending on the flavour of the decade, Brit preferably. If not, Aussie's unassuming and alright. Never american.)

Step 6:

Begin to attract too much attention. (...with your obnoxious accent and lack of tact for other people's need for non-accentified english.)

Step 7:

Wish that your home country wasn't as stressful/ polluted/ cheena etc. (extra, extra points if you start pining for a non-local as a partner, cos everyone's an idiot.)

Step 8:

Start to conform. (Give up yet?)

Step 9:

Start using more singlish. And mean it when you do!

Step 10:

Welcome to Reality, Singaporean! You are now NRIC NUMBER, RANK AND NAME. Get back in line, LACKEY!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I skipped 5 and 6 and have reached step 7. Hopefully I bypass step 8 and go to an alternate step that doesn't yet exist in your list.

A very astute observation nevertheless.

Anonymous said...

I did everything until Step 7, then moved to Australia permanently and married a non-Malay. First time I started feeling I fit in!