Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Why I USED to hate being Malay

Growing up, I hated the idea of being Malay.

It bears with it the connotation of being lazy, ignorant, petulant, gullible, repressed, stagnant and poor. Growing up, most of the Malay people I knew weren't rich or well-off or successful.

Most Malay dads were blue collar workers. Most Malay mom's stayed at home. Sometimes they'd be factory workers. And with the combined incomes they appeared more well off.

When I went to secondary school, I was painfully conscious of my skin colour and social demographic background. Most dads in the school I went to were middle income earners. Most of the kids stayed in the expensive districts of Singapore. They had connections. Their girlfriends were fair skinned Chinese girls from SCGS or MGS. They went to church. Their churches had bands. And they worshipped by appealing to God in English.

I distinctly remember staying away from kids who were obviously a lot more well-off. I figured there was nothing i could offer them.

All the 'heroes' in school were smart Chinese boys who excelled in sports and school. They swam, or they played rugby. Sometimes they did track. And to earn school colours was a big deal.

I took Malay language class and felt it was an exercise in futility. I pitied the tortured and beleaguered Malay cikgu. I was more interested in completing the task assigned and just getting the highest score possible without feeling for the subject. I didn't feel or see the need for the poetry of the language.

Why be Malay when there is nothing to feel proud about?

Why be Malay when the racial stereotype is one of the guitar playing yobbo with no future?

Why be Malay at all when the media surrounds us with non-Malay ideals of beauty and success?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

What made you change your mind? What turn of events made you proud of being who you are?

Peacebuy said...

Yeah,

there is a bitter truth in this, ..'being Malay'. But it is just a matter of perception.

gempamelayu.com

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